Black-Eyed Kids Eat Free at Incredible Pizza

Scary as hell Black-Eyed Kids eat free at Incredible Pizza each Tuesday

Springfield, MO—America’s Incredible Pizza Company, located at 2850 S. Campbell Avenue, has announced that all Black-Eyed Kids eat free every Tuesday from 5-10 pm. A new Black-Eyed Kids buffet menu has been implemented and executives hope that the new promotion will provide a safe place for the BEK to find ample nourishment.

“The Missouri Ozarks has its share of Black-Eyed Kids running around trying to enter people’s home and ‘collect’ souls,” said an AIPC manager, “now they have a place to eat before they make their rounds scaring the hell out of people.”

According to the corporate website, America’s Incredible Pizza Company has saturated all targeted consumer groups and is looking to expand into new markets. “The paranormal activity demographic is virtually an untapped market. We thought it would be an opportunity to leverage our fun atmosphere and affordable food to get more undead customers into our location,” said Randy Newman Marketing Director for AIPC. “Hey kids are kids, even if they are a demon-possessed, pupil-less, and murderous lot, kids still like to have fun! Am I right?”

The promotion has been successful at other AIPC locations across the country. “Yeah, we had Black-Eyed kids appear out of nowhere and lined up in front of our stores, slapping on the door windows—the younger ones were hooting, ‘let us in’,” said Mark Sixer, the Tulsa, Oklahoma manager, “they were so friendly. One older boy, the ‘leader’, looked at me through with eye sockets filled with this liquidy blackness and got this weird smile on his face. He said ‘We’ve been watching you, Mark. Don’t you recognize us?’ and I was like ‘yeah, you’re our new target demographic’. He said ‘we’ve come to collect, Mark’ and I was all, ‘well, come collect some fun and pizza all y’all Black-Eyed Kids.’”

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