Zombie Checkpoint Nets Wanted Undead

Zombies stumbled into trap very slowly.

Springfield, MO – Twenty-two zombie arrests were made during an overnight zombie checkpoint in Greene County Saturday night. The sheriff’s office says more than 580 people were stopped at checkpoints along South Avenue and Harrison Street, as well as at Jefferson and Olive in an attempt to vet out the undead.

Of the 22 zombies arrested, 18 had been zombies for about two hundred years. Two were arrested for illegal brain possession. One zombie was apprehended during the checkpoint wearing a Halloween costume and 2 people were ticketed for exhibiting pre-zombie behavior.

“Zombie checkpoints have been used in the past to apprehend the undead. And we thought the Halloween Pub Crawl would be a great opportunity to catch us a zombie…we didn’t expect so many,” said Charlie Filuster while scratching his head.
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Most zombies didn’t see the checkpoint until they were too near to avoid it. “Zombies don’t move very fast and they don’t see too well. By the time they stumbled onto us it was too late for escape. The hardest part was restraining the zombies without being bitten,” said Filuster.

Officials suggest that more zombies reside in the Ozarks and the easy targets of the Halloween Pub Crawl were an irresistible draw for easy brain chomping. The remaining zombie population likely resides under the city streets or in your basement.