That Guy From Coldplay Becomes Interim Head Baseball Coach for SBU

SBU baseball coach signals “steal”

BOLIVAR, MO – Word has recently come out that Chris Martin is Southwest Baptist University’s head baseball coach–as in the lead singer for Coldplay.

Coldplay, the popular British alt-rock band is on a temporary hiatus, in spite of their continued success, so that Martin can coach at the Bolivar college. “Coldplay will be reluctantly taking a break from touring so that I can spend some time here,” Martin stated when asked to explain the sudden career switch. “I can’t really get into it, but let’s just say I got into some trouble with the British government. And so I’ve been exiled. You see, the American Midwest is the new Australia.”

Martin’s band has sold over 60 million albums worldwide, but he says he’s happy to focus for a little bit on his true passion: coaching baseball.
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“Coldplay’s songs are full of metaphors for baseball,” said Martin. “ Our song ‘The Scientist’–that’s about Pete Rose. If you translate the title ‘Viva la Vida’ it stands for ‘Long Live Baseball.’ Our first album was a concept album about RBIs.”

The Bearcats have embraced Martin as their coach, and give him positive reviews. “I was a little doubtful about Coach Martin at first,” said sophomore pitcher Zach Snodgrass, “but he’s been really great. He knows a lot, and even takes us out to ice cream when if we get a double play. He calls it a ‘Cold Play,’ which is super hilarious.”

“Yes, I’m very serious about this baseball gig right now,” said Martin. “And, like I said, this really isn’t new–you can see my love for baseball in all my music. Our albums are even written to sound slow and energy-less, like 90 percent of a baseball game.”