Russia Leaves International Space Station to Take Crimea Space Station

Russia taking more of Ukraine in space

Springfield, MO – According to reports, Russia is planning to vacate the International Space Station to inhabit the nearby Crimean Space Station. The Russia government claims that the Crimean people have invited them to absorb the additional space on the station and have welcomed their presence.

“It seems odd to me that another country would allow Russia into their space station. In fact, I don’t think the government of Crimea is in favor of this occupation,” said Missouri State professor Lenny Plifford.
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“Crimean people took a vote and said they wanted us to be in their space station,” said Russian interpreter Vals Rankor. Independent research confirms that 2 Crimean astronauts were polled and both voter in favor of the cosmonaut occupation at gun point.

“I think it is a bad idea. I mean first Russia takes over part of the Ukraine on Earth and now they are doing it in space. What kind of sick bastards are these people?” said Drury sophomore Jenni Talgor.