Ozark Homes Now Feature Dream “Meth Lab”

Realtor shows home with meth lab

Springfield, MO- After a meth lab was discovered during a rental house visit, many Springfield contractors are hatching schemes to pursue the much sought after “high class meth dealer and connoisseur” clientele.  Even though the renters, the agent, and owners of the house were mortified to find a meth lab under their stairs in the basement, many think that an already established meth lab could help a house sell.

“The modern meth deal is living the high life,” said home designer Robert Carlow, “They don’t want to be creating their Ozark Ambrosia in a dirty basement or some dilapidated shack. They want to be able to show it off.” Robert provided a tour of his crowning jewel: a 6-bedroom, 3-bath house with a dream meth lab and walk out basement.

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The cross-stitch was in purple and pink with the words: “Bless This Meth” surrounded by lilacs and daffodils. “T-t-t-this is is is is just want we were lookin’ fer,” says local meth enthusiast, Johnny Red, “The walls are a beautiful ‘Winter’s Bone white’ which really makes the marble cabinets stand out. I can tell we are going to be breaking all sorts of bad in here.”

Although the meth labs will cost considerable more, the designers say it will pay for itself in a matter of months