Archive for August, 2013
Protestors Impeach President Obama, Get Biden
Springfield, MO – A group of seven protesters armed with flags and signs lined the Cherry Street overpass to U.S. 65 rallying for President Barack Obama’s impeachment as rush hour traffic whizzed by yesterday which lead to the literal impeachment of President Barack Obama. According to witnesses, after the protest Article One of the United […]
MSU Serves Bear Steaks
Springfield, MO – Missouri State University’s agriculture program is now offering a proprietary selection of Bear beef cultivated from a 3,300-acre working cattle ranch. The Bear ground beef, steaks and roasts are available at specialty meats stores in Springfield. The Bear beef is offered at a premium price point but that isn’t deterring students, alumni […]
Tax Free Weekend Very Taxing
Springfield, MO – After four hours of searching, Shawn Hummerly of Nixa, was found curled n the fetal position near the Battlefield Mall Starbucks covered in trash. His wife and children reported him missing while shopping during the tax free holiday. “When we found him, he was muttering to himself a sort of chant ‘tax […]
Kid Brother Destroys Route 66 Lego Creation at Fair
Springfield, MO – The hard work and intricate detail that went into constructing Route 66 at the Ozark Empire Fair was completely destroyed this week, reportedly by Lego Man’s little brother–scattering dreams over three 6-foot long tables. The destruction was discovered after Lego Man returned from a lunch break and he immediately shouted, “James, I […]
Fail Sign August
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