Tax Free Weekend Very Taxing
FairCityNews.com | Aug 05, 2013 | Comments 0
Springfield, MO – After four hours of searching, Shawn Hummerly of Nixa, was found curled n the fetal position near the Battlefield Mall Starbucks covered in trash. His wife and children reported him missing while shopping during the tax free holiday.
“When we found him, he was muttering to himself a sort of chant ‘tax free taxing, tax free taxing, tax free taxing’ over and over,” claimed mall policewoman Molly Dunger, “I called in back up and we strung him over our Segways to get him to the triage unit.”
Shopping breakdowns are anticipated by Battlefield Mall security during high traffic periods and most patients are treated by acclimating through various means. “Depending on the severity of the condition, we provide a soft leather couch to sit in, screen NFL post season games, and occasionally will administer an IV of beer directly into the victim’s arm,” said nurse Linda Euolo.
Hummerly claimed he was shopping with his daughter at Justice when he allegedly “blacked out” and can’t recall how he ended up covered in trash near the Starbucks. “There were so many people, and they were just everywhere. I guess it was too much for me… I’m not ready to go back,” he said.
By state law, the sales tax holiday begins on the first Friday in August and continues through the following Sunday. In 2013, multiple accounts of shopping fatigue were reported while families attempted to make certain back-to-school purchases such as clothing, school supplies, computers, and other items as defined by the statute exempt from sales tax for this time period only.
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