Archive for May, 2013
Angry Swarms of Loft Dwellers Descend on Hapless Street Preacher
Springfield, MO – A disaster of Biblical proportions filled the streets of downtown Springfield, as a street preacher was subjected to the anger of the urban loft dwellers. The loft dwellers are accustomed to the usual weekend street noises of loud music, traffic, and occasional fisticuffs between night club customers. But a man with a […]
Nondiscrimination Task Force Really Bringing Together Community
Springfield, MO – According to the chairman of the nondiscrimination task force, efforts to illuminate feelings and attitudes on sexual orientation and gender identity has really bonded the immediate community together in a colossal argument. “People love to fight. And what we’ve got here is a momentous finger-pointing match that is exhilarating,” said Nick Yonder […]
Springer-Style Fights On Price is Right in Branson
Branson, MO–The Welk Resort announced today that television host Jerry Springer will host “The Price is Right Live!” fights in Branson May 28 to June 8. Springer is the host of “The Jerry Springer Show,” which is in its 22nd season of showcasing spectacular Mommy-Daddy child custody fights. Springer previously hosted “The Price is Right […]
Neon Banking Sign Lights Up Lofts
Springfield, MO – Several downtown loft dwellers were upset following the opening of the Great Southern branch across the street from their building, its neon sign lighting up the night and shining checking offers through their bedroom windows. “At first I was disgusted by the sign, it was so annoying. I couldn’t sleep so I […]
High School Students Looking Forward To End of the Year Major Revelations/Complete Closure
Springfield, MO- High school students all over Springfield are looking forward to the end of school not only because of summer break being right around the corner, but the end of the year revelations and total closure each school year brings. “It is just like all the movies,” said high school junior Alex Randish. “All […]
Mike the Intern’s Take
Usually, I try to tie in some kind of theme for the month, but for May, I really didn’t want to make a list of songs that were about stupid flowers or anything like that so I decided to take another path. This month I am going to feature songs by bands that are talking […]
Tornado Waits Outside of City Limits
Springfield, MO – According to storm chasers, a mild tornado is circulating outside of city limits waiting the perfect time to dash across the area garnering every meteorologist’s undying attention. The tornado was first sighted 2 weeks ago crouched behind an abandoned barn near I-44. “I suspect the ‘nado is waiting for the weather to […]
