Archive for January, 2013
Man Reluctantly Takes Family To Strip Club For Best Steak in Town
Springfield, MO- In an act of total desperation, a local man brought his family to an un-named strip club that boasts in having the best, cheapest steak in town. Family man Dalton Barlow knew that going to a strip club was totally deplorable, but he really, really likes good steak. Barlow, a father of 3 […]
Snoopy House Discovered in Springfield
Springfield, MO – Peanuts fans will instantly recognize a familiar dwelling at the corner of National and Sunshine Street – all they need to do is look in the Northeastern corner of the intersection to find a dog house for one famous white and black dog. Now that the word is out, Springfield is attracting […]
Drowsy Driver Checkpoints This Week
Springfield, MO – In response to the increasing number of drowsy drivers in the Ozarks, checkpoints will be set up this week at undisclosed locations around town by the Springfield Police Department. Drowsy driving, while much less known that drunken driving is equally as dangerous. The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention reports 15-33 percent […]
Mom and Pop Sex Shops Driven out of Business By Evil Corporations
Springfield, MO- The main street of yesteryear faced a huge blow yesterday when yet another mom and pop shop went out of business. The “Paradise” sex shop, which has been apart of the Appleton family for generations, was brought out by the faceless entity known as “Romantixxx”. “This is a real shame,” says great-grandma Marlene […]
Resolutionist Resolves to Relax
Springfield, MO – Ralph Robbermerg has claimed a new resolution – to become a Relaxation Resolutionist. Maxing the most of his life, Robbermerg has committed to reading fiction, playing video games and hanging around a pool whenever possible. “Listen, I’ve worked for most of my life and all I really have at the end of […]
