Group Flashes Mob at SBC

New SBC glasses commemorate the streaking event

Springfield, MO – In a strange twist of fate, a rabid mob was chased away by a group of flashing patrons this week. The angry mob had entered the brewery demanding mead and horses but was deterred when diners showed their naked selves.

“It was scary. Nobody knew what to do until one person started taking off their clothes. Then everyone joined in and it created quite the scene,” said 65-year-old Nancy Gibbonsville, “we chased those beggars and thieves through the streets in our birthday suits!”
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According to reports, the vandals entered the building at 7:40 p.m. and began to make demands. “I was totally taken off guard,” said manager Phillip Persons, “I was certain we’d lose a lot of brew and was scared that they’d take it out on me because we didn’t have any horses…there hasn’t been a stable here in years…in fact the last one I’ve heard of was across the street but that was a long time ago.”

Would be robber and angry mob participant Luke Kruggly was overheard screaming, “Run for your lives! They have naked parts and they are bearing them openly – run!” The Springfield Brewing Company wait staff had never experienced anything like this before. “It was amazing. The entire populace rose up and began shaking what the good Lord gave them at the same time. It was like a flash mob, but naked people were scaring off marauders,” said Nicole Trebleson. To celebrate the SBC passed out free T-shirts to the victorious nekked people.