Archive for November, 2012
Citizens Celebrate End of Election Advertising
Springfield, MO – This election season has united the Ozarks populace with one resounding result: the end of political advertising. Campaign advertisements have inundated members of all parties for several months and political messaging has seeped into every expression of life, on the side of the highway, in front yards, on radio, online annoyances and […]
Man Forgets To Vote, Blames Lack of Awareness
Springfield MO – On Tuesday November 4th at 8:00 p.m. Fred Kitebiter was at his favorite tavern having a few drinks and getting ready to watch his favorite hockey team the St.Louis Blues take the ice. Instead the only thing that was on TV was election results. When told that the election returns would probably […]
Obama Calls It Quits After Redskins Loss
Springfield, MO – The local democratic campaign office has announced that President Obama will not seek another term after the Washington Redskins lost to the Carolina Panthers this past weekend. The report referenced Obama’s decision was based solely upon the Redskins Rule, which has accurately predicted the outcome of every presidential election since 1940. Obama […]
Parents Increase Candy Tax This Halloween
Springfield, MO – Local parents have increased the cost of chaperoning their children during the candy gathering season known colloquially as Halloween. The parental imposed Candy Tax has held steady over the past decade, but saw an increase after weak job growth and economic instability this year. “We just can’t afford to purchase as much […]
