Archive for October, 2011
New Gerber Baby Blows $50,000
Springfield, MO – After winning the National Gerber Baby contest, eleven month old Nate Stuffington has blown through his winning prize money in a matter of days. Blinged out binkies, gold-lined diapers, and radical plastic surgery has consumed the less-than-yearlings’ earnings. According to sources, he even purchased his parents a vacation home in Aspen, CO […]
Ozarkians Remember Steve Jobs
Springfield, MO – With the passing of Steve Jobs, the visionary and co-founder of Apple, people from around the Ozarks are remembering his legacy and reflecting on the profound effect he had on their lives. “He made them iThingy’s right?” waxed Norma Grace Dean of Ava, MO, “I seen them once on the television, […]
Motocross Track Installed at Park Central Square
Springfield, MO – Dirt bike riders across the Ozarks are happy to learn about the newest addition to the square; a motocross track. According to insiders, a state-of-the-art jump is now completed and will welcome thrill seekers as they attempt to overcome numerous obstacles build within the square. “I’m thrilled that we have […]
Springfield Dentists to Decide What to Do With 3000 Pulled Teeth
Springfield, MO – After the free dental clinic this weekend local dentist have to decide what to do with nearly 3000 pulled teeth. The dentists are submitting ideas at their super-secret dentist meetings this Thursday in the basement of Richard’s Candy House (which they super secretly own to drum-up more business). The ideas range […]
