Ghetto Ziplock® Brand Baggies Introduced

Ghetto baggies do not have tracking chips inserted

Springfield, MO—Locally based Jordan Valley Innovation Center has introduced a new product to the marketplace: Ziplock® branded ghetto baggies. The new sealable, portable storage devices are decorated with colorful graphics and have an urban look and feel for users who prefer to carry their perishables with more street cred.

Innovation scientist Herby Jamison said, “No, no, no these baggies don’t have secret tracking devices installed in them, that would be silly. We’ve simply provided a more visually appealing ‘dime bag’ for users or people to ‘distribute’ their goods.”

The new Ghetto baggies feature such designs as pot leaves, messages in graffiti and include one labeled “This is not Meth” and are complete with a “to” and “from” label where dealers can place the names and addresses of their intended recipients.

The new product design is expected to resonate with hard-core bangers, b-boys, as well as those who live in the suburbs and aspire to live the gangsta lifestyle. “We’ve given our customers an alternative to the PB&J toting teetotaler. These baggies demand respect by the explicit graphic designs and trademark audio reference to signal that the bag has been completely sealed.”

According to sources, the baggie will release a “Yeah Boi!” to signal signify that a successful enclosure has been completed. The new audible clue was tested with a controlled focus group who repeatedly said, “Yeah Boi!” once the baggies were zipped up. The new Ghetto baggies are available under bridges from that creepy looking guy who kindof looks like a cop.

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