Archive for September, 2010
Ozarkers Burn Cashew Chicken in Protest
Springfield, MO—Local Ozarkers are turning up the heat to pressure Rev. Terry Jones, the head of a small Florida church, who plans to burn copies of the Quran on Sept. 11th. Several southwest Missourians plan to protest Jones’ radical plan by incinerating something close to their hearts: Springfield-style cashew chicken. “I think if you sacrifice […]
Rates: CU Ups Yours
Springfield Mo.- Due to a proposed utility rate increase of up to 23% by October 2013, some residents of Springfield have threaten to disconnect services from City Utilities. “I have had it with all the rate hikes. I’m not paying CU another dime,” commented Joe Natureback a soon to be ex-CU customer. “I’m gonna dig […]
Local Man Sloths on Labor Day
Springfield, MO—In an ironic twist, local man Jerry Baker spent most of Labor Day wasting away on his futon. Baker had planned to clean his house, fix his backyard fence and finally get that new coat of paint on his ’84 Chevy pickup, however, he chose to flip aimlessly through his satellite television channels instead. […]
September Horoscopes
Fair City News is proud to present monthly horoscopes to help readers navigate life’s hills and valleys. Working of herbal remedies – Musli Kaunch cialis side effects Shakti capsules with plain water or milk for the best results. It’s important to explore all possible solutions with your medical team to be sure that you are […]
Drury Bike Program Rolls On
Springfield MO-Students at Drury University in Springfield will now have a choice to help the environment by using a bike around campus. The bikes are part of the students’ sustainability tuition fee. This fee was approved by students years ago and must be used for the helping the environment as well as being a benefit […]
SGF Rents Giant Shop Vac To Remove Water
Springfield, MO—After presenting two forms of identification and laying down a $50 deposit, The City of Springfield has rented a giant shop vac to remove rainwater from roads, bridges and basements. The 6000-gal. 2,300HP shop vac was deemed necessary following heavy rainfall on Wednesday, when 6 to 10.5 inches of rain covered the city causing […]
Outlaw Gang Tracked to Sherwood Forrest
Springfield, MO—Greene County Sheriff’s deputies have tracked an outlaw gang to a Southside neighborhood in Greene County known as Sherwood Forrest located off highway 160 or Campbell Avenue. According to reports, the gang is responsible for multiple thefts across the city, numerous acts of mischief and several drive by arrow shootings. Local resident Gloria Shiffold […]
The Fair…
Although I dread going, every year I find myself there…the fair. It is not a pleasant experience but yet somehow thousands of people flock to this virtual hell hole every year. They bring their friends, their neighbors, their livestock, their neighbors livestock and pretty much anyone who will come. The fair somehow supersedes reality by […]
