Local Man Too Excited About Today

Man way too excited for today

September 29,2010 is a very exciting day for Springfield resident Tom Banner not because it has any significance, but because it specifically has no significance.

“Everyone gets excited about July 4^th, or April 20^th, but sometimes it takes little useless days to make us step back and realize how wonderful the world is,” Banner said.

The year 2010 has had some truly memorable days from August 9 (8-9-10) to September 2 (9-02-10), but Banner’s mission is to promote days that have no holiday related to them and no interesting numerical pattern.

“I think Mayor O’Neal should come down from his City Hall high horse and declare 9-29 to be Insignificant Day – a day that will live in anonymity!” Banner insisted.

Banner is facing some pretty harsh opponents in his bid for Insignificant Day’s declaration due to advocacy groups like the Rockefeller Foundation (John D. Rockefeller was declared the world’s first billionaire on this day in 1916), NASA (Canada’s first satellite Alouette 1 was launched on this day in 1961), and the Coalition of Mark Farner fans (the famed Grand Funk Railroad drummer was born on this day in 1948).

Perhaps the biggest opponents to Banner’s proposal are Springfield’s own Logical Fallacy Organization (LFO). “What Mr. Banner doesn’t seem to understand is that by declaring something insignificant, Banner is thereby granting it significance which renders the initial statement of insignificance to be a moot point,” Miles Prower, President and sole member of LFO stated whilst smoking a pipe in his study. “It’s all just an exercise in futility and irony.”

Whatever the resolution to the issue, one has to realize that 9-29-10 comes around once every hundred years, so that has got to be pretty special right there.

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