Archive for September, 2009
Plaza Towers Ultimately Just One Tower
Springfield, MO— For years the Plaza Towers, a landmark building, has been referred to in the plural, now counting experts agree that only one structure exists at the corner of Glenstone and Sunshine. After several minutes of speculation and observation, one man Kris Flinger confirmed that the Plaza Towers “seems to be only one tower”. […]
Prehistoric Monument Found at Interchange
Springfield, MO— A prehistoric monument was uncovered in southern Greene County today at the U.S. 65-U.S. 60 interchange and dubbed “Springhenge”. The iconic stone monument is composed of earthworks lined in a setting of large standing stones and sits at the centre of the densest complex of Ozarkian and Springfieldian forests in Missouri, including several […]
Obama Speech Warps Kids’ Minds to Think Independently
Springfield, MO—After hearing President Obama’s speech today, Ozarks children’s minds were warped to the point of thinking independently. The speech has caused a buzz around the area as some parents said they worried that the president is seeking to deliver a political message to young people so that their brainwashing efforts might be thwarted. Local […]
Art Walk Preferred Over Science Stroll
Springfield, MO—Early reports indicate that when given the choice, Springfieldians would rather attend the monthly Art Walk versus the Science Stroll. Both events occur on the first Friday of the month in separate locations in downtown Springfield. The First Friday Art Walk takes place in multiple galleries situated near the heart of downtown. The Science […]
“Speed Hump” Signs Around the Block
Springfield, MO—City officials are standing firm behind their decision to post a sign stating “Speed Hump” on St. Louis Street, west of downtown indicating a bump used to reduce vehicle speed. Opponents have suggested that the sign promotes promiscuity at high velocity and state the original authors are out of touch with modern conversation. Proponents […]
McCaskill Forum Solves Healthcare Issues
Springfield, MO—During a town hall meeting in downtown Springfield, Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill solved a proposed government-run health insurance plan with the help of well-spoken, vocal citizens at the historic Gilloiz theater. “I came to the conclusion that we could offer a program that would satisfy the needs of everyone in attendance. I cannot wait […]
