News
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Angry Swarms of Loft Dwellers Descend on Hapless Street Preacher
Springfield, MO – A disaster of Biblical proportions filled the streets of downtown Springfield, as [...] -
Nondiscrimination Task Force Really Bringing Together Community
Springfield, MO – According to the chairman of the nondiscrimination task force, efforts to illuminate [...] -
High School Students Looking Forward To End of the Year Major Revelations/Complete Closure
Springfield, MO- High school students all over Springfield are looking forward to the end of [...] - More from News
Business
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Desperate Teen Forced to Use Desktop Computer
Springfield, MO- Local Hillcreast High School junior, Zach Slater, faced a horrible crisis yesterday when [...] -
Hobos Purchase Heer’s at Auction to Create Heer’s Hobo House
Springfield, MO – The iconic Heer’s building was sold at auction this week on the [...] -
Decay Billboard Sends Powerful Message
Springfield, MO – A natural force known only as “decay” has reserved space on a [...] - More from Business
Entertainment
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Springer-Style Fights On Price is Right in Branson
Branson, MO–The Welk Resort announced today that television host Jerry Springer will host “The Price [...] -
SnakeOil – May
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Free Crowd Concussions Provided at Rugby Match
Springfield, MO – To commemorate the dedicated fans of Springfield Rugby Club, free concussions will [...] - More from Entertainment
Living
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May Horoscopes
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Neon Banking Sign Lights Up Lofts
Springfield, MO – Several downtown loft dwellers were upset following the opening of the Great [...] -
Horoscopes
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Other Recent Articles
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Bucktoothed, Barefoot Baby Born in Ozarks Somehow Surprises
Branson, MO – Doctors were seemingly surprised by a recent birth when the child appeared with a head-start on life in the Ozarks: barefoot and bucktoothed. The chances of a child representing over 80 percent of the population are one in 3,000 according to the US National Library of Medicine. “When we saw the baby […]
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Customers Complain about USPS Cuts via Email/Social Media/Instant Message
Springfield, MO – Thousands of angry USPS customers are taking to electronic media to complain about the recent budget cuts forcing delay of first class deliveries. Hours after the announcement, several “save the USPS” sites appeared on Facebook and the hashtag #saveUSPS began trending on Twitter. Side Effects Due to the body not being […]
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Mike the Intern Breaks it Down
NOW THAT WE HAVE FINALLY CELEBRATED THANKSGIVING, ITS TIME TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS. NOW IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO DECIDE ITS OK TO SETUP YOUR CHRISTMAS STUFF BEFORE THANKSGIVING WELL, I HATE YOU. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM DOING THIS NEXT YEAR BECAUSE THANKSGIVING IS THE BEST HOLIDAY AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH. NOW […]
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Motivational Speaker: Mike McMichaelson
A Keen Observation from Mr. Mike McMichaelson: Adult Hugs There is no way to avoid these extremely awkward adult salutations. While 20 years ago when you saw a friend, you might wave or maybe shake their hand. Well folks, the shake is gone and the adult hug is here to stay. I have compiled a […]
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Downscale Housing Development Announced
Springfield, MO – Not to be outdone by exclusive, upscale residential developments cropping up on the outskirts of Springfield, a local developer has broken ground on a new, but not-so-country-club-atmosphere neighborhood. The Gulleys at Ferrell Hog has entered its first phase of development now that real estate speculator, Bub Coy, has finalized purchase of the […]
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MSU Opens Community Catbox
Springfield, MO – Though it will be used in the summer as a sand volleyball court, MSU athletic department officials have come to an agreement with CCLS (Crazy Cat Ladies of Springfield), to utilize the new, enormous sand pit as a gathering place in the off season for both stray and kept cats in Central […]
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Cold Prevents Zombie Uprising
Springfield, MO – Insiders learned that hundreds of undead have postponed plans to overtake Springfield, MO due to frigid temperatures during a breach in a zombie gathering today beneath the city in a tunnel near downtown. “I hear them say ‘too cold’ and ‘postpone’ in between disjointed moans,” said Alex Lopinop, a zombie hunter and […]
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